she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
