her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
