i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
