Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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