let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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