Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
