I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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