I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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