I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize