Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
