i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
