I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize