Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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