You're so nebulous sometimes
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
