he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
