Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
