Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
it glows. i had to have it.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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