Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
