I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
He has the fingertips of a God
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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