Don't you send me to vm
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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