Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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