Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
