We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
