Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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