I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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