I think im going to throw up on grandma
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
