I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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