is your mom at the bar?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
