ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
