i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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