Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She's the barista slut.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
