you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
