I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
