I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
