Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
