If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
