there's paper in my vomit.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
