But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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