So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize