flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
