my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
