idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
