I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
