I'm passing your future prison.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
