you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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