Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
