just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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