Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
