After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
