I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
