elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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