Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
