my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize