I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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