a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
