you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
