oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
