I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize