just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
