who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
