Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
