I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
