My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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