There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
the day after is always just damage control
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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